What To Do if a Jerk Makes Fun of You at the Gym
If you’ve never been to a gym before, it can be a daunting experience, especially if you’re self-conscious of your weight or appearance.
One common question people ask is:
“Will people make fun of me at the gym?”
This can be a natural concern. Working out for the first time feels unusual. Maybe you’ve been mocked for your appearance in the past. Maybe people have laughed at you for being overweight.
Fortunately, there’s a simple answer:
No. The chances that someone makes fun of you at the gym are immensely low. People will not laugh at you at the gym. They won’t stare at you. They won’t mock you.
If you ever got mocked in grade school for anything (we all did), this may come as a surprise. But gyms are usually incredibly friendly places, and there are reasons why people won’t mock you at the gym.
Why People Won’t Make Fun of You at the Gym
First, most people at the gym are focused on themselves. People are typically training too hard to notice you, or busy staring at themselves. You’re a stranger at the gym, not the main character of their story. And that’s a good thing. They simply won’t notice you.
Second, people who exercise know how difficult the fitness journey can be. Fit people may look like they’re having an easy time at the gym, but they worked hard to get to their current fitness level, and they tend to respect other people on their own journey.
Third, gyms are a competitive business. If a gym member is mocking or harassing other gym members, that can hurt the gym’s business. Gyms have a very low tolerance for jerks and will cancel their memberships.
Finally, people are generally not jerks. Even if they notice you, they probably have more respect for your efforts than they have animosity for your appearance.
Some gyms market themselves as being “judgment free.” This marketing is deceptive. Most gyms are friendly places, even if they’re full of bodybuilders. Judgment-free gyms like Planet Fitness created a problem that doesn’t exist in order to sell you the solution. Don’t fall for it.
It’s incredibly unlikely that someone will laugh at you at the gym. But in the off chance that you do confront a her ask the gym, you have a few options to diffuse the situation.
What should you do if someone laughs at you at the gym?
1. Keep going
The most important thing to do is to not let yourself get shamed or bullied into changing your fitness routines. You’re taking a giant step in improving your health and fitness, and that is more important than the opinions of some jerk. Stand your ground and get your workouts done while you take steps to eliminate the hostile environment.
2. Politely talk to the jerk
Politely confronting a jerk is the most effective thing you can do with any jerk, but it’s also the hardest. Confrontation is not easy, so most jerks never deal with confrontation. When someone does confront them about being a jerk, they tend to back down. You may even find that the jerk is ashamed of their own actions once confronted.
How do you politely confront a jerk?
Keep your cool and simply talk to them. It may be helpful to play a little dumb. Some examples:
“Hi, I saw you were looking at me and laughing when I was on the treadmill. Is there something wrong with my form that you think I can improve? I’m new here, so any tips I can get would be helpful.”
“Sorry, I noticed you pointing at me lifting weights. Were you waiting on the machine I was using? I only need a few reps.”
“I could be wrong, but it looked like you were recording me working out. It’s making me uncomfortable, and I wanted to ask if you could please stop. I’m new here so I’m a little embarrassed of being recorded.”
One surprise you may find is that the person isn’t a jerk at all. Maybe they were staring at you because they liked your shoes. If you’re polite in the confrontation, you may end up making a new gym friend.
3. Let it slide
An alternative to confrontation is to just let it slide. It’s the easiest solution because all you have to do is nothing, but it can be a valuable solution because it helps you build up your own patience and resilience.
As the proverb goes, “You can cover the world in leather, or wear sandals.”
Letting is slide doesn’t mean the jerk is in the right. They’re still a jerk. But if you let them bother you, you have now given them power they don’t deserve. It can be a difficult exercise, but letting it slide shifts power from the jerks and puts you in control of the situation.
4. Talk to gym staff and management
If the jerk persists, then don’t escalate the confrontation. Simply talk to gym staff and management and let them know the gym member was harassing you.
Again, it’s important to keep your cool. People are more likely to take you seriously if you don’t let your emotions get the best of you.
Let the gym know as a matter of fact, and don’t be rude to the staff about the situation. You’re simply doing the business a favor. If one of their members is being a jerk, its bad for their business. Here’s an example of what you can say:
“Hi, I am new to the gym. I was working out and one of the other members won’t stop harassing me. I just wanted to let you know because they might be making the gym uncomfortable for others as well.”
Gyms take this stuff seriously, and they will likely talk to the gym member about their policies. Most gyms are more than willing to cancel the jerk’s membership if they continue.
This should be the second step you take. It’s better to talk to the jerk or try to let it slide first. By taking control with your own actions first, you’re taking an important step in building your own confidence.
5. Go somewhere else
If you’ve talked to the jerk, tried to let it slide, and spoken to gym management, but the jerk still persists in harassing you, unfortunately, your next option is to find a new gym. This is an incredibly unlikely scenario because most gyms take harassment seriously. But there are a few gyms that are managed poorly and won’t deal with it. These gyms don’t deserve your business.
Talk to a gym manager to discuss the situation and let them know why you’re cancelling. They may take this final step as enough of a reason to remove the jerk from the gym. Otherwise, it’s time to cancel your membership and find a new gym.
If the gym won’t let you cancel, let them know that the gym is a hostile place and you cannot train there while the jerk behaves the way they do. If the gym still refuses to cancel the membership, call your credit card company about putting a stop payment on their charges.
If you need tips on choosing a new gym, we wrote a guide on how to choose the right gym for you with important factors to consider.
Remember: most people at gyms are friendly, and gyms can be a great place to meet other people on a similar phase of their fitness journey. Don’t be afraid of stepping into a gym for the first time. The odds someone mocks you are low.
In case it does happen, you know what’s steps to take to make sure the gym becomes a place you enjoy.